Sunday 14th July 2019
I wake up in bed at 1 am, I am so hot. The husband still isn’t home. I’m a little bit annoyed, I’m tired I haven’t been sleeping well. it’s all very well and good going out but does he really have to be out this late? Now I can’t get back to sleep!!!
At about 2:30 I hear a cab pull up outside. In he stumbles, banging and crashing around, he comes upstairs and lies on the bed. I wait until I hear him start snoring and then I take myself downstairs. I’m too hot I just want be laying in front of the fan in peace.
I put the TV on and watch single white female never seen that film before quite good!
At 4 am I am eating leftover poppadoms and watching love Island it’s like I’m Bridget Jones!!!
Time is just dragging, I’m trying to distract myself and make myself tired, I try reading, I try writing and the whole time I’m just getting more and more annoyed. I don’t even know why am annoyed. I am pissed off, fed up and tired.
Eventually sleep comes and I fall asleep on the sofa again. The husband emerges, at some point he realises I’m not in bed. I’m like a zombie, I have a few digs so he knows I’m annoyed and wisely retreats back upstairs away from the angry beast.
I still have no clue as to why I feel so angry?? I just feel really really really really fed up, it could be anything, I’ll make it anything!
He comes back down and puts the cricket on, I want to moan about that, not that I actually wanna watch anything.
Eventually I go and sit in the garden I’m not doing any good sitting here sulking, so I sit out there with my friends, the birds. Hopefully it will do me good.
The husband comes out and I just don’t have the energy to moan anymore, I feel exhausted and I don’t even know why I’m moaning. I don’t know why I feel like this, I just feel really really low and it’s probably the alcohol. I hope I feel better tomorrow.
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