Monday 29th April
Woke up feeling like I’d been sedated again, that would probably be the wine I drank, only a couple of glasses, but again, unnecessary. Had some really vivid dreams too, apparently I shouted out in my sleep, remember dreaming I was being chased by a spider, obviously I looked up the meaning:
To see a spider in your dream indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. Or perhaps you want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation. Alternatively, a spider refers to a powerful force protecting you against your self destructive behaviour.
Well my spider must be pretty weak, as I was pretty self destructive yesterday? Trust me to get the broken one.
God I feel miserable this morning, what did I expect after a weekend of drinking and eating rubbish, did I enjoy it at the time yes, was it all entirely necessary? No. I cant keep sitting her whingeing on about how terrible I am doing oh and how I have put the entire 5lb lost last week back on, I need to just sort my life out.
Laying in bed thinking of reasons I cant go into work today, try to use my laws of attraction powers to manifest train problems so I can stay at home, check trains and they are still running. Tell myself I need to get up and move about today, been sat on my backside too much this weekend, getting out will do me good, even if it is to work.
Feeling irritable, people are breathing to loud for my liking today. Tell myself its my own fault for being a dick with alcohol and food and it serves me right, me is not happy with me right now.
Decide to try and think of some positive things, I am going to start brainstorming ideas for my book and when I return from holiday am going to dedicate specific times for my writing, the podcast from yesterday has definitely sparked something in me.
Just had an email from Uber eats saying, “long time no eats, United Kingdom loves McDonald’s just like you” bastards. Might as well send me an email saying come on you fat cow have another cheeseburger.
Home now, thank god, catching up on TOWIE, watching all these skinny girls isn’t helping, get back on my Nike app and create a new plan, my last one finished last week. Going to make a healthy lunch for tomorrow and get my arse in gear!