Tuesday 23rd April
Devastation. Somehow managed to put the entire 7lb back on! 4lb yesterday & 3lb today. Measure myself too, nothing like kicking yourself while your down. I know losing weight that quickly is not good, but it bloody felt it.
Now feel more the determined than ever, I don’t have any more weekends away and only a few evenings out before my holiday. I’ve got this.
Took my car for MOT, have a horrible feeling it’s going to fail, taking a nice stroll back to earn some calories.
Got the husband to call the garage as I have no clue about car stuff, if I get up there and they foot me with a bill for £500 I will cry.
Seems like my law of attraction skills are at peak, it failed and it’s going to cost around £500, now need to manifest £500. Need to pick the car up later, the husband will come with me thank god
Just picked up the car £600. 6-fucking-hundred-pounds. Feel sick, not even sure my car is worth that much. In all fairness I’ve had the car 10 years it had up have something go wrong sometime
No holiday clothes for me then, let’s just hope I can lose some weight so I can get that black bin bag of clothes that are too small for me out of the loft and have a new selection.
Now thinking I need to be better with money (story of my life) have a spreadsheet, which I’ve had for about 11 years, fill it in monthly, still skint all the time, it’s like it burns a hole in my pocket and I need to spend it.
Just remembered I got an Oasis voucher for my birthday, winning! That will get me a little number for holiday.
Wednesday 24th April
Disturbed sleep and slight night sweats last night, really notice how much better I sleep after a few nights off drinking, another reason to stay off the drink! I also had some really vivid dreams.
Took part in the daily tradition/torture of weighing & measuring myself. The 3lb I put on yesterday has come off, hurrah! Now to keep it off.
Have a leaving lunch today have already decided (and added into myfitnesspal) what I’ll be eating and I shall not be drinking. Luckily, the majority of my team don’t drink so the temptation won’t be there.
The dishwasher isn’t working and has leaked all under the cupboard, oh joy, we’ve only just replaced the oven!! I have a nice pile of washing up to look forward to tonight.
Get to the station, feel the need for Coke Zero to get me through. Shite, no bank card, must have left it in my bag I took to whitstable along with my driving licence so I can’t even go in the bloody bank to get money out. Not that I have much! Find some coins in my purse hurrah I shall have Coke Zero!
Despite the fiasco this morning has brought I’m still pretty upbeat, let’s see if this is the case once I get in the office!
Been in the office an hour and feel miserable, this place is just not good at the moment everyone seems so unhappy and it’s really rubbing off on me.
Managed not to drink at lunchtime, even though I am desperate to avoid the misery of the office, now thinking about looking for another job, my friend leaves next week and I’m dreading it. Miss my happiness from the weekend.
Feeling flipping anxious now, what is going on. Feel stressed like I’m panicking about something, except there is nothing to panic about. Trying this calm balm I’ve been carrying about for a bit, let’s see if this works.
Well that seems to have worked. Haven’t had one of those in a while, bloody horrible, especially when there is no trigger.
Couple of hours later it’s back, maybe I should have eaten the calm balm? It’s like my mind is searching for a problem to have, offering it out like it’s a tasty treat except it’s not it’s tasty or a treat.
Luckily for me I have a huge pile of washing up to do when I get in, wonder if there is a Spotify playlist for washing up.....of course there is, that’s my next hour sorted.
Washing up done, dinner cooked and eaten, am now settled on the sofa with a much deserved white chocolate chip cookie carb killa & cup of tea thinking about what to write in my next blog, I’ve been so busy writing these daily posts, I’ve neglected the blog. Need to get back on this.
Now in bed with tea, made by the husband, overnight mask on watching the bay. Realise how much better I feel for drinking less and am actually enjoying being more with it and present.
Now I just need to get past the negative energy at work....back to google!