Saturday 4th May Wake up it’s 2am, my mouth feels like the Sahara and I don’t know where the husband is, I get out of bed, I’m still fully dressed. Plod downstairs where the husband has passed out on the sofa, surrounded by ritz crackers & cheese. Attempt to wake him up and get him upstairs but he’s not budging, grab myself some water and go back to bed.
Wake up the husband has found his way to bed and is now very kindly reminding me of the previous nights events. Apparently I was introducing him to everyone repeatedly “this is my husband” yes he’s real someone actually married me. He decided by about 8pm that I was a bit too drunk and I needed to go home. So he manages to get me to leave, by deceiving me into thinking an Uber is waiting outside. I am stumbling around so he manages to get me out of my heels and into my flats, to walk to the station, I do not remember the fake Uber is supposed to be waiting. As we get to the station I suggest/insist on drinks for the train journey, the husband dutifully goes in a buys a can of G&T & something for himself, we get on the train where I forget all about my gin & tonic and fall asleep, the husband then spends the rest of the journey guarding me like a guard dog. I never claimed to be classy ok. Now we have to do it all again, we are out for the husbands friends 40th birthday, dinner at 3pm then to the pub, this will only be going one way.
I can’t face doing exercise today, besides the husband is fitting the new dishwasher and that will take forever, so I decide to walk to the shop to collect a parcel to get myself moving.
We head out for the birthday dinner, 10 minutes late, one day I will get the husband somewhere on time.