Wednesday 10th April - Day 3
Another restless night woke up a few times, night sweats not as bad but still there, had a weird dream that 2 people at work thought I had blocked their numbers and I hadn’t.
Husband was in the bathroom for aaages actually fell back to sleep, feel like I've been drugged, struggled to get myself in the shower, getting ready for work slower than a sloth, whilst watching Good Morning Britain, it’s not the same without Piers.
Download programs on my phone to watch on the commute and remember to get my lunch and fruit from the fridge (another pat on the back, although - I do have a reminder set up) begrudgingly leave the house, walk the 20 minutes to the station, mostly uphill, mostly out of breath, confused as I exercised last night, surely I am fitter already?
Buy two bottles of coke zero for £2 at the station shop (winning) spend time wishing I liked coffee as I hear the caffeine high is better.
Bag a decent seat on the train, feeling smug about the people who have to sit in the middle seat of three, no one likes it surely?
Get into work, de-motivated before I have even sat down. Someone’s made a cock up, now trying to fix it, had to go to a floor I never go on, who are all these people, find the person I need at the other side of the office, typical. Manage to resolve crisis, well at least help solve with IT, the realise I have to do some actual work, before my 10.30 meeting.
10.30 meeting is 5 minutes work chat 20 minute gossip, wondering if we should move these meetings to the pub and then realise I'm not doing that stuff anymore, boo, wish I had thought of it before making this lifestyle choice.
Day drags on, tell a friend about my blog, then decide that I need to do my diary update, I have done enough work for today.
Counting the seconds before I can leave, whilst drinking my fourth bottle of coke zero, I really should cut down but I need the caffeine, wonder if it’s an actual placebo effect, remember a time I drank lots of water and felt good, think about doing this as of tomorrow, don’t even believe myself.
See myself in bathroom mirror, think I should make more effort with my appearance, then realise that would involve less sleep.
Spoke about food all the way home with my friend, now hungry, wondering if I really need to do yoga when I get home, must stay focused.
On my walk home I walk past a young couple jogging, she is head to toe in Lycra, he is wearing jeans and a jumper, he also had curtains, they’re making a comeback apparently, is this a new trend? Laugh to myself when I imagine trying to do yoga in jeans, stop laughing when I realise I’ve got to do yoga in about 5 minutes. FML.
Got in put my yoga gear on (I looked the Michelin woman) and cracked on with some downward dog. 10 minutes in my phone decides that it’s had enough of yoga and locks its screen, FFS. Is this a sign I should give up, nope keep going, happens again so I change my screen lock settings, once I figured out how to do it, then it’s all frozen, after 20 minutes I give up, I did over half the session, that’s better than none right?
My arms are now killing me, fuck you vinyasa flow. Time to make my chicken Laksa, bloody love hello fresh.
Now I want chocolate, I will not replace wine with chocolate, I WILL NOT. I will take myself a hot chocolate to bed, that’s what I’ll do. Remember I have biscuits in my bag which I took from a hotel at the weekend, can’t stop thinking about them, will save them for an emergency 🚨
The husband plays football on a Wednesday night and if I’m not out I always treat myself to an early night, so by 9pm I am snuggled up in bed with my hot chocolate ( I did not give in!) watching The Bay on ITV, love a crime drama.
I am having a little reflection, although I was really tired today I do feel more focused and I’m really enjoying my writing, I feel like my mojo is coming back and best of all I am not even missing alcohol. Tomorrow is going to be a test, my first drink since Sunday. Boxer Core in the morning, looks as grim as it sounds, there is a move called “Torture Twists” can’t wait!
